Saturday was Jayden's first soccer game and he has turned into quite the soccer player all of a sudden.  I am still amazed he scored 6 goals today.  He was so proud and so were we.  I can't believe how a few months since the last season and some practicing have made such a difference.  I remember watching him last season, which was his first time playing on a team and trying to get him to make contact with the ball and not run around in circles on the outskirts, lol.  He was everywhere, except where the ball was.  He did have a kick that is still remembered by his coach at the time where he made it from one end of the field into the goal on the other end.  He was pretty proud of that one : )  So here's to a great soccer season and thankfully not such a hot one.  We are lucky that all of his games are at 8:30am so that will be nice and we can walk from the house, even better!  Not even diabetes will stop our little soccer player, GO JAYDEN!

     Well, today was the first day that neither my mom or myself went up to the school to help with Jayden's checks.  The health assistant asked to let her try on her own but that she would most likely be calling me when he came down.  I said ok, let's give it a run and see how you do seeing as my confidence was building with her understanding of how to handle Jayden and his pump.

     10am check, she checks his sugar, calls me, he's in the 300's so she double checks that she enters both his sugar and snack so that he can go back and eat it in class.  Ok, good so far.  11:45am comes, no call, but I thought maybe his sugar was fine, she felt good and was going to call me after lunch.  It's always bad to assume anything!  I get a call after lunch.  "Jayden was not sent down to check his sugar before lunch and I lost track of time, what do I do now?"  Um, what???  I find out that his teacher was responsible for giving math tests to the kindergartners so there was a substitute in his class, not trained to deal with him but she was right there if needed, so she forgot as she was stressed with trying to teach 5 & 6 year olds how to bubble in their answers.  The health assistant just didn't pay attention.  UGH!!!!!  I remained calm as losing it with her would have made her come unglued and undone all the training that I have worked so hard to do for the past 3 weeks.  I wanted to yell and scream, trust me but I didn't and I told her I was going to contact the principle and guidance counselor to find better solutions.  I am still waiting to train at least 2 backups and for my copy with all signatures of the 504 plan I put into place.  Deep breathes, deep breaths.........................

     Ok, so we just did a site change this morning, most likely his sugar was on the lower to normal range so we should be ok and he will be picked up in a few short hours and we will test again then so no worries, WRONG! 

     The health assistant forgot to give him back his log paper for me to know his numbers, so she went to find them now at recess and sees his teacher sitting at a table with a box of cupcakes and juice and was getting kids gathered to give out.  They usually do this at recess.  It seems every kids birthday is the beginning of school as this is the 2nd cupcake party they have had.  If I brought some on 8/29 for Jayden's birthday that would have made 3 in 3 weeks!  I was not even going to go there so I didn't and now I feel like the crappy mom that didn't celebrate her sons birthday in school but I also don't want my diabetic child eating all that crap! But if he sees it I can't say no.

     When the teacher saw her coming, she then panicked and said please take him to call his mom and see what to enter and if he can have it.  She did and I told her what to do and it was ok.  The health assistant thought she saw him about to be excluded but upon talking to his teacher that was not the case.  She had just sat down after having them do testing outside too and was asking the kids who wanted one and who didn't.  She had not got to Jayden yet and that would have sounded alarm bells for her to have a call into me.  Now of course his teacher is going to talk to the health assistant since they are not on the same page, ugh! 

     I work hard to avoid stress and complications yet somehow it finds me and drives me insane.  Now I have to meet with the principle, guidance counselor, health assistant and teacher to get this all sorted out again. Also, figure out who the back-ups are going to be and train them.  Living with diabetes 24/7 is a royal pain in the ass!  I hate it so much and wish I could get rid of it.  It's supposed to get easier and in some ways it does but in many others it just gets more complicated.  I HATE IT!

1 Corinthians 10:13 starting with verse 12

"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you dont fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

What does not kill me, makes me stronger.-Friedrich Nietzsche,

German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Well, we are almost through the first 2 weeks of school.  Today was the first day I dropped Jayden off at the curb to watch him walk up the walkway like a big boy.  That was tough but he does have to grow up and I have to let go just a little and trust he will be ok.  I really would be ok with it if he was not diabetic.  That just makes life so much more complicated.  It's so difficult to always wonder if your child is ok when he's not physically in your eyesight and to trust strangers to keep him safe and alive. 

Things have improved at school but I'm still skeptical about the school health assistant.  It seems like she understands the process to a certain degree.  That of course does not make me feel great. I know, she has had a crash course in diabetes 101 in less than 2 weeks time, where we have been living with it 24/7 for the past 2 1/2 years.  If the clinic is quite and she can just focus on him, she's good.  As soon as there is other distractions, forget it!  Well, the clinic is constantly changing and kids coming in and out so if multitasking is not her strong suite, she is in trouble!

Things are being put into place, slowly but surely.  They have begun to train a backup person and still working on the second one.  I have yet to meet these people and do my training for them.  They are supposed to have someone the clinic person can call on where there is the avalanche of kids in the clinic at the same time Jayden is supposed to come in and test.  Of course there have been a few times when she calls and the person cannot come down so that defeats the purpose of a backup, hmmmm.  There has been a suggestion of having them come down at the specific times of testing, if its quite then great, off they go.  If there are tons of sick, hurt, sniffly, achy kids in there, then they stay.  It amazes me what kids come to the clinic for.  I would lose my mind working in there all day long!

Thank God we have a long weekend to try to relax.  We all need this.  It has been a difficult first 2 weeks.  Jayden goes back and forth with he likes school and he hates it!  Usually the mornings are I hate school and don't want to go so I have to be the not so happy momma to get him out the door on time.  By the time it's pick up time he says he had a good day and school is fun.  Hmph, I hope this is not everyday.

Many people don't know that diabetes is a 24/7, non-stop disease.  Everyday is a new day and a new adventure and you never know what the day will hold.  It might be a good day of wonderful numbers or it might be a day from hell where you just can't get it under control.  His site might be good or not so good or he just might pull it out and not tell anyone for hours until you pick him up and then he says something, of course resulting in very high numbers (yes he did this to me twice in pre-k).  I was less than happy as you can imagine!  I still have my positive days but some days,esp last week it breaks my heart that as his mother I can't make this better or take it away.  It's not fair to him and I get it when he says I don't want to be diabetic anymore.  I don't want you to be either!  It sucks, it's not fair but it's here to stay with our family so we make the best of it and try to help others who end up becoming part of this group and become a support system and pray for the cure someday soon!

Happy Birthday Jayden!!!  Wow, I can't believe your 5.  It was at this time, 9:30pm 5 years ago that I first saw you.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  You have grown up so much over the years and I look at you now and you are starting to look like a little man.  It's hard to see your babies grow up but it's also exciting to see the adventures ahead.

Jayden is still liking school so far.  That's a good thing.  He had a Happy Birthday hat on all day today that his teacher gave him so he felt extra special today.  It was cute.  There is a little girl, Olivia, in his class that keeps telling him she thinks he's cute, lol.  He's already being the ladies man.  I'm in trouble, lol.

Making some progress with school.  I met with the principle and guidance teacher and have put a 504 in place.  I meet with the guidance counselor again tomorrow to go over that and make sure everyone is agreeable to the terms.  They also are putting into place a backup for the school health assistant should she has tons of kids in the clinic when Jayden arrives for his check ups so that she can focus on him and get him back to class or his lunch.  I hope things get a little more stream lined so that he feels more comfortable and normal.  This by far has been the hardest part of diabetes and the adjustment for all of us has been trying to say the least.  I know it will get easier but trusting others to take care of your child the way you do it a lot to ask of parents.  I know they will call for any little things but still, bad things can happen fast, especially with a child who's not very symptomatic.  I hope as he gets older it will get a little easier.  Someday he will know and understand all that his parents have done for him to be able to be just like everyone else.

My baby boy is growing up and I can say that I am very proud of him and happy that he has a very happy and healthy life so far and I plan to make sure he continues to live life to the fullest!

Today was day 2 of school and it was ok.  Jayden went off to class, no problem, I took Jonah to moms day out, then back to school for check #1.  The clinic aid still seems pretty confused and overwhelmed with everything.  Its amazing the things kids come into the clinic for, lol.  So Jayden's number before AM snack, 58.  I get the "What do I do now" look from her.  Well now we go to the protocal to get the sugar up.  He quickly downs a juice box of 15g and we wait 15 min.  Next check, 130, woohoo!  He sat and ate his sugar free jello and off to PE he went.

Lunch time he was at 90 so that was ok.  Had lunch and came back to be entered and off to enjoy the rest of his day. I went by his dr's office and vented some there too, almost in tears again. They probably tought I was nutty but oh well.  I broke down and had a good cry in the car on the way to work.  I hope this gets easier soon.

I just don't know how all of us parents do this.  It is so hard.  I wish I couldmake it go away.  I really hate diabetes!